I’ve been thinking a lot in recent weeks about selfishness and respect for others. Now don’t worry, I will try not to get too ranty but there have been quite a few instances in the past few weeks and months where I’ve had to look back and question if I’m being precious or justified to be aggrieved, even if only slightly.

A perfect example of these double-standards some people portray is the free run. Now, Chester has a pretty high workload so it’s important he gets to let his hair down and have a blast around a field or some woods the same as any other dog. He loves these free runs and gets so excited as we near the start point that I quite often have to approach slowly and even stop a couple of times to control his excitement. When his lead finally comes off, he will run laps of the meadow to burn off his zoomies before calming, doing his business and settling into the walk. I am always conscious at these early stages of other dogs so he doesn’t bother anyone but there have been occasions when other owners have got a little ratty with him and me about his behaviour. Like I say, I am always careful to keep Chester close to me and I know full well that a couple of whistles will bring him to my side. Nevertheless there have been moments of tension. Sadly, I am sometimes judged by a sighted person’s standards and rarely do people clock my long white cane sweeping ahead of me and make any moves to verbalise their presence, somehow expecting me to magically spot them through my heightened powers of extra-sensory perception. Most of the time I brush off the comments, recall Ches to my side and we go about our day. Even so, these occasions do rile me and I will often spend days, even weeks replaying the interaction, trying to determine if there was something I had missed or if I could have handled it differently. Most of the time, it is a resounding “no” and I truly believe with more awareness these instances would not have happened.

Anyway, my bigger issue with these comments is that quite often these same owners have no problem whatsoever with allowing their dogs to interact with Chester when he is working. There have been a number of occasions where owners haven’t thought twice about allowed their dogs to approach us, circle around and even sniff Chester’s backside when he is guiding me along a path. Never has Chester reacted and, if there is a clear exit, we will keep on going and try not to interact with people because of the impact it could have on us both. It’s important to reiterate that, when an assistance dog has their working jacket on or when a Guide Dog is in their harness, they are concentrating on their surrounds to keep them and their owner safe. Allowing your dog to approach or distract them in any way can impact on the safety of the handler. Worse still, in extreme cases, these interactions can result in the dog becoming anxious and even withdrawn completely.

Chester and I have been working with the trainers and behaviour specialists at our local Guide Dogs hub to ensure this doesn’t happen here and, despite a slight blip, things are definitely improving. His work has never been in question but the last thing that any of us want is for my Sunburst Saviour to begin making mistakes. As any Guide Dog Owner will tell you – these beasts aren’t just mobility aids, they are our best friends, our independence and our safety nets in this sighted world.

I saw a post on Facebook not so long ago from someone who had a note put on their windscreen for parking in a disabled bay without a blue badge. Their justification for taking one of these bays was they were late for drop-off and needed to pick up something quickly. Reasonable enough, I mean these spaces are right by the door and they’re always empty so why not park there, after all, it’s only 5 minutes. But what happens when, in those 5 minutes, someone with a genuine need arrives and can’t park?

Not so long ago I was waiting to be picked up from Reading Station and two drivers pulled into the only available disabled bays next to where I was standing. They sat there, engines running and obviously waiting for someone. I politely gestured to the car closest to me and asked the driver if they had a blue badge to which they told me they didn’t. I pointed out that where they were parked was reserved for people with a valid blue badge and was curtly told me to go away (they didn’t use those exact words!) before storming off to find somewhere else to wait.

Blocking disabled bays is a constant problem outside my local station as drivers pull into the disabled bays by the exit and on more than one occasion, I have been forced to zig-zag through cars on a packed forecourt to get to Kath waiting on the other side. All this in the name of convenience and, dare I say, laziness.

People grumble about facilities being locked like the baby changing facilities in shared accessible toilets or changing rooms and the reason is, quite simply, if they were left open then anyone would use it regardless of whether they have a genuine need. At my local pool there is a single disabled changing room which doubles up as the accessible toilet for the restaurant. It has a clear sign on the door and all the usual accessories you would expect – emergency alarm, grab bars, high toilet seat and so forth and at least 50% of the time it is in use when we arrive. Now I can’t say for any certainty whether all these people are a condition that warrants the need of this facility (and I would never ask) but more often than not, the user will avoid eye contact as they shuffle past Chester and I waiting outside.

Back to the street and there does seem to be this unwritten code that our roads must be kept clear at all times for the convenience of the motorist and us lowly pedestrians should just accept that, at times, we must be inconvenienced for the Greater Good such as allowing a parent to park as close to school as possible or for a delivery driver to bump up a kerb with the misconception they are keeping the highway free or the occasional cheeky use of a disabled parking bay. What people don’t appreciate is that we can’t all squeeze between the gaps between cars or between a car and a hedge. I have in the past accidentally bumped my cane into a car parked on a kerb and got into quite a heated argument with the driver who accused me of doing it on purpose.

Since upgrading from cane to dog, I don’t get that problem any more. Chester is trained to assess upcoming obstacles and find the safest route. If he doesn’t feel there is a safe route on the pavement, he will, as a last resort, take me to the road. Some of the most nerve-racking times are those few seconds when I am out on the roadway potentially walking towards traffic but I am fortunate to have a highly-trained dog by my side and we work in true partnership to navigate these dangerous, but avoidable, situations.

At the top, I talked about how some people are so focused on themselves that they don’t see the world around them and Pavement Parking is the biggest example of this. Worst still, many times that a car does bump two wheels up onto the kerb they’re not making it any easier for other road users as they still have to wait for a gap to overtake so actually, what’s happening is both pedestrians and drivers alike are being blocked. One much more dangerously than the other.

I cast my mind back to the past and try to visualise if this is a new thing or if it has always been this way and I would probably say that it’s a bit of both – there have always been the small minorities who are so self-obsessed that they don’t see the rest of the world, I just think that as the world has got busier, faster and louder, the impact of these few is felt much more keenly than before. That’s not to say we should accept it as the new normal and if we can’t trust ourselves to look out for each other and be good neighbours then there is no alternative but to regulate. There is much lobbying of the UK government to follow Scotland’s example and ban all parking on the kerb. This seems extreme but I firmly believe there is no choice.

Before I leave you, I’ll finish with this final thought. Recently I met my sister at a local pub and as I was unharnessing Chester, a guy sat at the table opposite reached across and started scratching his head. I politely asked him to stop and he immediately became defensive, stating that he knew many guide dogs and has never been treated in this way, making it out that he was the victim and I was being unreasonable. I am suspicious of this statement as I haven’t met any assistance dog owner who would be happy with this situation and the person who knows what is best for their dog, any dog, is the owner. So, if you are asked to stop then please respect our wishes and whatever you do, don’t become indignant. In the meantime, can’t we all just be a bit nicer to each other?